So I think one of my best friends... (the one I call my 'thin' friend) has issues.

She's always been very supportive of me and my wieght loss untill recently, when I reached my goal... after Christmas, I happened to mention to her that I would like to get down to my actual 'ideal body weight'....lose about 25 more pounds....well...STOP THE PRESSES....NOW she's telling me..."You need to stop losing weight, you look too thin, your going to work yourself to death, I don't think your eating enough, you need to stop working out so much, your too skinny, eat a cookie, want some cake?...."....blah blah blah...

GET THIS...she's the same height and same body build as me...yet, I still outweigh her by about 25 pounds....so tell me...why does she think I need to stop losing?...I'm supposed to weigh around the same as her....she tells me I'm too skinny...WTF??...Come on...I'm still considered 25 pounds overweight

Anyhow, I've tried to figure out why she's been getting 'down' on me so much latley....it could be a couple of different things....

maybe it's simply because she's never seen me this thin in my life!...she meet me when I was at my heaviest...as long as I've known her, (other than sproting a bikini around while doing yard work) she was never a vein or jealouse type of person that I knew of before...but it seems now, being as negative as she is about it all, I'm starting to wonder what this is...I don't think I have changed at all, other than my weight and my wardrobe...maybe that's it....she dosen't like the clothes I'm wearing?...dosen't like my new style?....she wears comfortable stuff (sweats, T-shirts) & I'm wearing more formal, fitted (suits, skirts etc. for work) everyday...heck I don't know...there is something that has definatley changed with her, I just can't figure out what it is...

Anyhow, I've decided to just keep doing what I'm doing, but not talk about it as much with her...don't talk about my workout classes anymore, what I'm eating for lunch, weight loss, progress.... I miss sharing these things with her, but couldn't take the negative attitude she was putting off....so, I've lost 7 pounds without telling her or talking to her about it and she has not even noticed or mentioned it once...
????: South Beach Diet Forums http://www.southbeachdietbulletinboard.com/lets-get-healthy-chat/2403-my-thin-friend.html

Guess I just needed to vent about it and see if anyone had a different take on why she's so down on me?....

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(Because I STAYED Determined!)

You look great. From your picture, I wouldn't guess you had 25 more pounds to lose. That being said, your friend probably compares you to your old you and is hung up on that image. I think your approach is a good one. Talk less about the weight...and do what you feel is right for you. What do the charts say, you might check with your doctor to compare your views. Good luck.

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IMO, clearly she is somewhat threatened by the new "you". There may a whole range of reasons for this within her that I won't attempt to offer and you may never know. It may be for some of those things you mention or none of those things that maybe she isn't even aware of herself. She may not even be doing it consciously in the way your perceive it. I don't know where you would lose another 25 lbs either, but I'm confident that you know what you are doing and that you and your body will come to some kind of agreement about what you should finally weigh somewhere along the way!
????: South Beach Diet Forums http://www.southbeachdietbulletinboard.com/showthread.php?t=2403

I guess where I'm coming from is that people react to our weight loss in different ways. They perceive us differently because our size changes when internally we pretty much feel the same way. (although hopefully better!) You are likely more confident and certainly more "visible". She may be more vested in the old you and is having trouble adapting to the new you. In the end though, whatever the reasons, these are her issues and not yours.

Keep on keepin' on and be the best "you" you know how to be!! Others will either catch up. Or not. That's for them to deal with on their journey!

"Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you. " -- Marianne Williamson

First of all I think you look great the way you are but.. Now saying that... you and only you will know when you are at the weight your skin feels comfortable in. Don't look at the books or the graphs that tell us our ideal weight. One person at the same height/weight/frame may look heavy while one looks healthy. Maybe she is threatned by you and really does not know it, or maybe she may think you are so obsessed(not saying you are) and worry that you might take it overboard. You are comfortable with your body, such as wearing form fitting clothes and she lounges in sweats, loose fitting clothes. It just may be she is the one with the issues and not you. It's probally for the best that you keep it to yourself for a while and talk about other things and interests that you have. If she happens to ask about your losing more weight tell her nonchallantly what is going on with you. You will know when you are at goal.

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My guess is she is probably feeling threatened. When I was at my heaviest I worked the overnight shift. My peers knew I was trying to lose weight so I immediately cut out soda. Over the next few months I dropped 20 lbs. Despite still being "the heaviest" of the team, not a night went by when other people tried to undermine my success by offering to buy me a soda or coffee at the local store. These were the same people who applauded me for cutting my addiction (Pepsi) cold turkey yet went out of their way to make my nights a living hell.

Some people just don't like to see others succeed.

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My blog : http://www.foosnewz.com/sbd

Well Said Rox!!
Excellent post Totally agree


Tiny
Keep your head up & be VERY proud of yourself.



WAY TO GO

I thought about this long and hard last night, cause she is not the only person who has been telling me this...I have realized that it's not weight I want to lose...I don't think that's the true issue...my number is just fine with me where it is...i'm proud to weigh 147!

I guess what i really want to do here, is TONE myself up more? Does that make any sense...I could care less if I lose any more weight, but damn it...I'd love to be able to see my muscles...maybe my abs?....I know I'm strong and I know those muscles are in there somewhere...I'd just like to show them off more...lol....there will always be my extra 'skin' issues, no matter how hard I try...that will need a nip tuck or something...but I think if I really work on it, I might be able to tone myself up a bit more...

I did check out multiple sites about ideal body weight... (which, like I said, I don't feel is the issue anymore)... but anyhow...there was TONS of info of course... the "people's choice" for my height & frame is 133 pounds...3 of the sites gave me the same range of 120-133 one was a very wide range of 117-143 (which i'm almost in that one)... and the medical recomendation I got was also a huge range of 118-155...(which I'm in now)...

so..in a nutshell...I agree with everything that was sent in reply...I love hearing back from people...you guys are all so great....It really reassures me that I'm not so much in the wrong here for wanting to continue a bit...and, has also helped me to realize that my "Number" is all good...and I feel perfectly fine where that numbers at...thanks you guys!!!....now...off to tone my abs...lol

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(Because I STAYED Determined!)